Well, It's Not All Bad

I know, not all people in this world like one person, also not all people hate one person. It's life, people may like and can hate certain people. Life is balance, whether people like you or people hate you. This also applies in me. I believe some people will think I'm arrogant, reckless, hard-edge, impulsive, anger, so on, so forth. I understand those kinds of 'label' people give to me. It's not wrong at all. It's people right to label other people. I let people to think anything about myself, whether it's good or it's bad. I just let it be. 

Some people will silently ask why am I so arrogant? so reckless? so negative at all? Well, it's come from where I grew up. As the 1st child/son, I've never been spoiled at all by my family. Starting from elementary school up to now, I've never felt what spoiled things actually are. What my parents always tell me is that, as the 1st child, I must be tough, persistent, and independent. Spoiled isn't the right thing for me, as my mother always said. I've been educated in my home in the way, that maybe you couldn't imagine. Failure or mistake, must be paid off, reach the best at any chance is the only result I must get. The tough education that my parents gave to me has now been the spirit in myself. That's why, I get that 'rough' character. I believe nobody will enjoy being anybody else, that also applies in me. If I had to pretend that I'm not that rough, I'll not enjoy it. The only thing is that, I know where to show it and where to hide it. 

If you know, I go to campus driving a car, one thing you must remember is that, the car isn't free at all. I must 'repay' it by the best result every semester, or else, it'll be taken over or the worst, I won't be able to continue my study, since my parents won't pay up the tuition. It's scary, I may say, but it's the thing. My life is based on target, reward (only sometimes) and punishment. I live my life that way. I must live the life I was born to live. I don't think that things is destiny, instead it's a challenge I must beat. The game is simple, you stay the best, you're saved and advanced, you fail, you're dead.

My parents give me two important guidance in life for me. First, If you are weak to your present life, your future life will as hard as hell, If you are hard to your present life, your future life will ease you. Simply, I must do my best in my present life to make sure my future life will ease me. Second, the strong grass is the grass where it grows in barren soil, the weak grass is the grass where it grows in fertile soil. If you live all now with ease, then you won't be able to keep up when the 'life wheel' turns you down. I've been taught, educated, socialized in hard condition by my parents to make sure when the 'life wheel' turns me down, I can keep up and adapt with it.

Sometimes, I've been told that I'm too hard on someone. I understand it; sometimes I'm impulsive. Sometimes others see it as the worst side of me. Well, it's okay, I won't bother it. I'm the man who believe that in positive there's always negative and vice versa. If I'm to criticize someone, I'm too 'loud-speak', even triggered the unnecessary polemic, but as I say, even in negative there's the positive things. Well, I can't hide my character which outspoken and hard, but you must see the other side of that negative side. I try to criticize what actually the best for that 'someone', only the way that not all people can accept. But if you know me, maybe you can see that other positive side, not always the negative side. I'm simply like this, if someone can be taught in soft way, I will not use the hard way, but if it's the other side, I will use the hard one just to make sure that someone understand what actually the best and useful. If still fail, I'm democratic one, I'll let that someone be, it's life, though, anybody have a choice, whether success or failure someone wants to get. One thing that, regret always comes last and it's the late thing which can be done, as everything had turn over. 

Well, by writing this, I hope you all will not misjudge myself. I'm not a megalomaniac who like to hurt. I'm as all of you, the people who live to find what the best for life. I'm not writing this to insult, to blame, or to humiliate certain person. What I want is that you know how precious life actually is, so you won't waste it for nothing. You only live twice, now and later after your death; do your best in life. Well, it's not all bad.

God Speed


Pandu DN (12)